The day you were born...

...was one of the best days of my life. It started so quietly, just you and me, and finished the same way. But between the quietness was a whole lot more. And I knew life would never be the same.

Nearly four months ago now (but still so very fresh in my memory) and I've been promising myself most everyday I would write this story down. But today, sweet girl, I'll finish this so you don't have to wonder if you're as loved as your sisters. No doubt you are so very loved, I just might not have quite as much time or energy to capture all these memories along the way as I once did, so please forgive me now.

You took your time little one and took an extra week to grow inside me before the doctors decided you would be safer out than in. Perhaps you already knew the chaos awaiting you on the outside world before your arrival (and hence what seemed like a surprisingly loud newborn cry that came out of you), or perhaps you just already wanted to be like your biggest sister Emma (in that case, your dad and I might be in for it - in all the best ways of course). Regardless the reason why, I was thankful to know that your arrival was imminent. It had been a never-ending Australian summer and two long weeks of school holidays to cap off a very exhausting pregnancy.

Those last couple weeks I took a lot of photos of
you inside me, because everyday I wondered if it
would be the last.

Some days the background was more chaotic than others.

Emma's cute drawing of me shortly before you were born.

After a very normal Saturday morning of soccer it seemed a bit surreal as we dropped your older sisters off at the house of dear friends on Saturday afternoon, not exactly knowing when we would see them next. I would be induced starting off slowly overnight and it all seemed very reminiscent of Emma's birth story. I could only pray it would be quicker. While at first there was some hesitation due to a last minute influx of scheduled inductions at the hospital that I might have to go back home and wait a few more days, I was thankful to find out that wouldn't be the case and we would be meeting you sooner rather than later. 

Last family of four photo. A classic.

The first of Emma & Morgan's fun, movie night. So nice to know they were in the best hands.

Your dad and I spent several hours of relaxed time together while we got the first stage of the induction process under way. How different was this time spent than it was when Emma was born and we were beyond nervous and anxious. This time, it was like a date night, well, let's not go too far with that statement. But let's be real too. We were down two kids, and you were still on the inside, it was Saturday night and we had babysitters scheduled for the next 36 hours. Just disregard the fact that we were at the hospital.


A few hours later and your dad was sent home to get Emma & Morgan and get some rest and I was to do the same at the hospital. Perhaps something would happen in the middle of the night, but it was less likely than likely. So I settled in for the evening armed with reading material as who knew if I would really be able to sleep. But somewhere between my Uber Eats dinner from a restaurant I had been wanting to try, my favorite Saturday evening House Hunters marathon on TV, and complete quietness of my own "isolation" room and no other children to bother me, I dared to say it felt like I was at a hotel for the night and found myself asleep in bed much earlier than I ever anticipated (yes, date night and a night in a hotel, call me crazy but I promise they didn't give me any other drugs that I'm aware of at least).

So with a surprisingly good night of sleep, I felt ready to go for the early morning wake up call to really get the process started. And I was so ready to meet you. Your dad was to the hospital by 7 or 7:30 once another friend had made it over to the house to take Emma & Morgan for their well orchestrated day of fun with various friends and church in between. Emma now says the day you were born was the "best day of her life." At first I thought that was one of the sweetest things she'd ever said and then when probed with why she said it was because she "got to play with soooo many of her friends." Don't worry too much Charley, trust me, she still loves you a whole lot too.

By church Morgan was already exhausted!

She got a second wind in time for an afternoon with more friends.

Emma enjoyed her afternoon playdate as well!

Back to the story... it was clear that the medicines they gave me the night before had not done much, so with a few failed attempts to break my waters and finally a successful one, and I was hopeful (and perhaps a tiny bit anxious) that this party would really get started. Although I must say I was also quite enjoying our "date night" turned "day date." In hopes to start some contractions we set off to walk both inside and outside the hospital for an hour or two. We got coffee, talked about anything and everything, and genuinely enjoyed this uninterrupted time for the two of us again. It fondly took me back to the evenings that we would stroll our Zurich neighborhood in the last few months of my pregnancy with Emma.

At some point I started to notice I was finally having some contractions at a semi-regular interval, but with not too much intensity yet. So we checked back in a few times with my midwife, walked a bit more, generally had a relatively laid back few hours of a Sunday morning. Unfortunately I was on a clock to avoid being given Pitocin, and while my midwife kept trying to help my cause, by noon, while the contractions were fairly regular and close together, it just wasn't quite enough so I got ready for the third and final step that was sure to get you out.

Sometime shortly after they gave me the drip things really heated up. But my hopes diminished temporarily when my midwife told me she was going to take her lunch break. My first thought was "how could she take her lunch break now?!" My second thought was "how does she really feel like eating right now?!" And my third thought was "uh oh, this is going to take awhile!" But she instilled some confidence in me that she really thought it wouldn't be long before she passed things off to another midwife and the doctor.

Let's just say I was thankful that she was right. I was thankful it got really intense fast and we got to skip all the things we discussed doing to make labor progress more quickly and less painfully (well the less painfully part would have been good). By the time she was back, I was pushing and less than an hour later (and after a little yelling and screaming) and you were here. Another healthy, beautiful, little girl.

Words don't describe it, but if you're lucky enough to one day experience it, than you will know what I mean. That feeling when you arrived and they set you on my chest. I will absolutely never forget it. And no doubt "heaven blew every trumpet" because at 1:50 pm on the 29 April 2018, Charlotte Marie was born. And I was convinced (and most days still believe), just like with your sisters, that the most perfect little person just entered the world.

Recently Emma asked me "just to be sure" if a boy could ever have a baby and I told her not, that it is a very lucky gift that God gave to us girls. She said it was unfair because I previously told her that carrying a baby and having a baby is exhausting and sometimes makes moms grumpy and that doesn't happen to boys. I told her that was true, but I also told her that I'm pretty sure there is nothing quite as amazing in this world as having a baby. And you, Charley, proved that to me again that day. Yes, it is A LOT of hard work, but it is THE BEST work.

No day is as good as the day three sisters meet (and mom loses it). 

A family of five at last. Charley Marie, you are so loved.

And the chaos ensued immediately.

But I will forever remember the day you were born. And the stillness of the early morning before you came and the stillness of the late night after you arrived, when it was just you and me.

Thank you sweet girl, for making my life, never, ever the same.